Against the mountaineers
Disastrous mountaineers with your boyfriends
And girlfriends weeping later in documentaries
While slightly better looking actors impersonate
You in your final moments: Do you wake, as I do,
At 4:36am with the ability to see through your own hand?
How about when you realise nobody’s forcing you?
Yes, the mountain looks lovely from a distance,
Almost invisible against the music festival,
Same colour as the diet slate sky,
But do you look up and see one painfully slow
Technologically augmented foot sticking
Into some gravelly snow over and over again?
With so much equipment and £million research,
Might you not just use a helicopter?
I hope, when you achieve the summit
There is a fat mountain eagle waiting for you
With his beak that doesn’t shut properly
Just like your screen door back home.
I hope you get mustard on your flag
And once you have gone the eagle eats it.
- Andrea Porter & Heather Taylor
- Brandon Krieg & T Zachary Cotler
- Caleb Klaces & Joe Dunthorne
- Claire Crowther & Chris McCabe
- David Hart & David Hawkins
- David Herd & Sarah Vap*
- David Tait & Kay Syrad
- Eleni Sikelianos & Cliff Yates*
- Fergus Allen & Stephanie Bolster
- Geoff Sawers & Peter Blegvad
- Helen Mort & Charles Johnson
- Jared Stanley & Siddhartha Bose*
- Jennifer Wainwright & Loveday Why
- Katrina Naomi & Sue Wood
- Kirsty Logan & George Ttoouli
- Mary Crockett Hill & Catherine Blauvelt*
- Milorad Krystanovich & Suzanne Batty
- Nicky Arscott & A F Harrold
- Rebecca Farmer & Jane Griffiths
- Robert Selby & Catherine Theis*
- Sarah Hymas & Jo Brandon
- Simon Smith & Ryan Murphy
- Tess Biddington & Adam Burbage
- Tim Atkins & Jeremy Over
- Tom Chivers & Emily Berry
- Valerie Witte & Aidan Semmens
- Zoƫ Brigley & Meredith Andrea



